Philadelphia Phillies – Endorsing The Diaper Genie

The Phillies have officially shit their pants by being swept by the Dodgers on a 4 game series.  Out of everything I know about the Phillies the offense is the one thing that I could always say is a constant.  Well, that time has come and gone . . . .   It used to be the starting pitching and then it was the shabby defense.  Oh, yes let’s not forget the bullpen and the base running.  It has finally come to a head when you say it is the Phils offense that is losing games.  The next thing will be the bat boy is not pulling his own weight on the team.  Maybe we should trade our bat boy and get Matt Holliday who knows how to make contact with a ball.  On the upside of things the Phillies are going against the Padres and then the Nationals.  We maybe be able to win a couple of games against the two worst teams in the National League.

Philadelphia Phillies – Offensive Death

I could not bring myself to write about last night’s game.  So, I’ve taken this opportunity to channel my feelings into teaching others.  Below I have posted Merriam-Webster’s online version of the definition of offense in hopes that some of the members from the Phillies will read and learn.  I will just sit back the rest of the day and think about the rally towels from last year and Pat Gillick’s failure to re-sign Kyle Lohse and Aaron Rowand . . . . .  Oh, yeah and Jimmy Rollins whiner baby comments yesterday about the awesome Phillies Phans that he can no longer handle.  He just doesn’t like having to work for his millions!  Don’t worry Jimmy I feel the same way about you.  Maybe this is a wake-up call and a time for a change in the short stop position?

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/offense

Offense

Main Entry:
of·fense  
Variant(s):
or of·fence   \ə-ˈfen(t)s, especially for 3 ˈä-ˌfen(t)s, ˈ-\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin offensa, from feminine of offensus, past participle of offendere
Date:
14th century
1 aobsolete : an act of stumbling barchaic : a cause or occasion of sin : stumbling block2: something that outrages the moral or physical senses3 a: the act of attacking : assault b: the means or method of attacking or of attempting to score c: the offensive team or members of a team playing offensive positions d: scoring ability4 a: the act of displeasing or affronting b: the state of being insulted or morally outraged <takes offense at the slightest criticism>5 a: a breach of a moral or social code : sin, misdeed b: an infraction of law; especially : misdemeanor
of·fense·less  \-ləs\ adjective
synonyms offense, resentment, umbrage, pique, dudgeon, huff mean an emotional response to or an emotional state resulting from a slight or indignity. offense implies hurt displeasure <takes deep offense at racial slurs>. resentment suggests lasting indignation or ill will <harbored a lifelong resentment of his brother>. umbrage may suggest hurt pride, resentment, or suspicion of another’s motives <took umbrage at the offer of advice>. pique applies to a transient feeling of wounded vanity <in a pique I foolishly declined the invitation>. dudgeon suggests an angry fit of indignation <stormed out of the meeting in high dudgeon>. huff implies a peevish short-lived spell of anger usually at a petty cause <in a huff he slammed the door>.
synonyms offense, sin, vice, crime, scandal mean a transgression of law. offense applies to the infraction of any law, rule, or code <at that school no offense went unpunished>. sin implies an offense against moral or religious law <the sin of blasphemy>. vice applies to a habit or practice that degrades or corrupts <regarded gambling as a vice>. crime implies a serious offense punishable by the law of the state <the crime of murder>. scandal applies to an offense that outrages the public conscience <a career ruined by a sex scandal>.

Cole “Hardluck” Hamels – Slippery Slope

Last night Cole Hamels suffered another devastating loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers increasing his non winning streak to seven games.  This was only one in a string of many losses from Hamels as of late which is very similiar to the issues that the Mets’ ace Johann Santana is facing this season.  You can view his recent loss as a failure of the Phillies bullpen to sustain the lead or as a failure of the offense to put more runs on the board.  If you ask the Phillies’ skipper Charlie Manuel he would say the biggest need right now is to have a break in their offensive woes.  You cannot rely that heavily on just pitching to take you to the post season.  The Phillies started the season with one of the most feared offensive line-ups with very little weaknesses other than the 8th and 9th hole.  They were on a tear last year beating up their opponents with hopes of stacking up the runs to cover over any poor pitching efforts.  This year’s line-up is even more lethal as the early high scoring games of the season proved that theory.  However, the bats have silenced as of late and are still building the momentum.  Greg Dobbs has been quoted as saying ” the team is on the verge of busting out of this offensive slump, it’s just waiting on that one hit”.  Well as a diehard Philadelphia Phillies Phan I am also waiting for that one hit.  Hopefully it shows up before October . . . . . .   Go Phightins !!

I have posted Cole Hamels stats for the last 7 consecutive non winning streak games below:

Philadelphia Phillies: Dissecting the Dodgers

Last night the Phillies failed to dodge the ball on the first game in a four game series against the Los Angeles Dodgers.  The Phightins lost 8-6 in a ball game that was not determined until the last out by Ryan Howard in the top of the 9th inning.  The Phils had two on base with Ryan Howard being the go ahead run at bat.  Howard grounded out into the overshift ending the comeback that the Phillies were waging.  Kyle Kendrick was removed from the game in 3 1/3 innings while accruing 7 earned runs on 9 hits within that time.  Kendrick failed to strikeout any batters, but managed to walk 3 while administering a homerun to the former Indian Casey Blake.  The Phils then replaced Kendrick with the newbie lefthander Les Walrond which pitched 2 2/3 scoreless innings with Clay Condrey finishing the game by allowing 1 run over 2 innings.

The Phillies offense started off slow, but was able to accumulate 10 hits over 9 innings.  Chase Utley was in rare form by amassing 3 hits on 5 opportunities.  Jimmy Rollins was able to hit another triple against Lowe which is his 8th of the year.

Tonight Cole “hard luck” Hamels takes the mound with hopes and aspirations that his team with mount another offensive strike.  Cole has recently been diagnosed with the Johann Sanatana disease and is on a day to day regiment of lack of offense.  Hamels (3.35 ERA) is searching for his 10th win this year against LA’s southpaw Clayton Kershaw (3.71 ERA).  On a side note Brad Lidge says he is ready to begin closing again since his recent right shoulder tendinitis left over from the All Star game in which he was repeatedly abused due to the lengthy game and multiple warm-up sessions.

 

Philadelphia AB R H RBI BB SO LOB AVG
Rollins, SS 5 1 2 1 0 0 2 .276
Victorino, CF 4 1 2 0 1 1 1 .289
Utley, 2B 5 0 3 2 0 1 2 .290
Howard, 1B 5 0 0 2 0 0 5 .237
Burrell, LF 3 0 0 0 1 0 2 .265
Werth, RF 4 1 1 0 0 3 2 .266
Dobbs, 3B 4 1 1 0 0 1 1 .307
Ruiz, C 3 1 0 0 1 1 1 .217
Kendrick, P 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .116
  Walrond, P 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  a-Jenkins, PH 1 1 1 1 0 0 0 .244
  Condrey, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  b-Cervenak, M, PH 1 0 0 0 0 1 2 .200
Totals 37 6 10 6 3 8 18  
 
image from phillies.com

Philadelphia Phillies: Planked The Scurvy Dogs

Last night Brett Myers had the Bucs walk the plank in his 7 2/3 inning outing sinking the Jolly Rogers with a score of 4-2.  Myers allowed 5 hits, 1 BB, 1 run while striking out 6 Pirates and providing some post celebration fireworks with Manager Charlie Manuel.  Myers had a little scurvy  on the brain by challenging Manuel when he approached the mound to bring in J.C. Romero to finish the inning.  Later there was a confrontation between Manuel and Myers in the dug-out in which Rich Dubee and Milt Thompson were seen holding back Manuel as Myers disappeared into the tunnel.  Later during the press conference Manuel addressed the press by saying that it was just two strong willed people disagreeing and their differences had been worked out.

The Phillies offense were able to cash in on their booty to accrue 10 hits against Pittsburgh.  Although, there were several highlights during the game, the most impressive was Jimmy Rollins.  Short stop Jimmy Rollins went 4-4 last night including 2 runs, 2 singles and an impressive 2 triples.  Rollins was hitting the ball hard last night with those triples just missing for homeruns.  It seemed as though the Jimmy of last year came to pay us a visit with his great defense and his addictive offense.

Tonight Jamie Moyer (3.78 ERA) takes the mound against the Pirates Jason Davis (2.57 ERA) who has recently been moved to the starting rotation from the bullpen.  Moyer will looking to add onto his wins while sinking the Bucs in the final game of the Pennsylvania Turnpike Series.

 

 
Philadelphia AB R H RBI BB SO LOB AVG
Rollins, SS 4 2 4 0 0 0 0 .277
Victorino, CF 3 1 2 2 1 0 1 .289
Utley, 2B 4 0 0 0 0 2 6 .286
Howard, 1B 3 0 1 1 1 0 0 .240
Burrell, LF 4 0 0 0 0 1 2 .268
  Jenkins, RF 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .241
Werth, RF-LF 3 1 1 0 1 1 0 .265
Dobbs, 3B 3 0 2 1 1 0 0 .304
  1-Bruntlett, PR-3B 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .222
Coste, C 4 0 0 0 0 1 5 .271
Myers, P 3 0 0 0 0 0 1 .054
  Romero, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  a-Cervenak, M, PH 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .250
  Durbin, C, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .143
Totals 32 4 10 4 4 5 16  
 
image from phillies.com

 

Philadelphia Phillies: De-boning The Fish

Tonight the Philadelphia Phillies scaled the Marlins in a 5-0 shut out by hands of Kyle Kendrick.  Kendrick pitch 6 scoreless innings to gain his 10th win of the season while only allowing 4 hits, 5 BB and striking out 4 batsmen.  Chad Durbin came in in the 7th inning only allowing 1 hit over 2 innings with the game being finished off by Ryan Madson pitching another hitless and scoreless inning in the 9th.

The Phillies’ offense were able to accrue 9 hits and 5 walks including Ryan Howard’s 32nd homerun of the season tying him with Adam Dunn for MLB most HR’s of the year to date.  Mike Cervenak had his first major league hit tonight as well as his first RBI.  The Phils had 5 doubles hit tonight as well as Eric Bruntlett’s 9th stolen base of the year.

The Phightins will meet up at the bank tomorrow to close the door on the Marlins as Cole Hamels takes the mound in search of his 10th win.  Hamels (3.37 ERA) has struggled as of late, but intends to right the ship against the Fish’s Chris “farfignugen” Volstad (3.25 ERA).  The Phillies will then roll right into the series against the Bucs for the Pennsylvania Turnpike Series.

 

 
Philadelphia AB R H RBI BB SO LOB AVG
Rollins, SS 4 0 2 0 1 0 0 .269
Victorino, CF 4 1 0 0 1 1 5 .285
Utley, 2B 4 0 1 1 1 1 4 .292
Howard, 1B 5 1 2 1 0 1 4 .244
Burrell, LF 4 0 0 0 0 0 2 .275
  Werth, LF 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .265
Jenkins, RF 3 1 0 0 1 1 0 .241
Coste, C 3 1 1 0 0 0 2 .278
Bruntlett, 3B 3 1 2 1 1 0 0 .231
Kendrick, P 2 0 0 1 0 0 1 .119
  a-Cervenak, M, PH 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 .333
  Durbin, C, P 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 .143
  Madson, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
Totals 34 5 9 5 5 4 20
image from phillies.com

Philadelphia Phillies – Overboard

Last night the Phillies were hanging over the side of the S.S. Citizen’s Bank creating their own chum wake.  The Florida Marlins knocked around Jamie Moyer trying to make up for the previous 10 losses and then proceeded to spank young J.A. Happ just to ensure he does not follow in the elder’s footsteps.  The pain staking 8-2 loss was only over shadowed by the fact that Victorino’s 2 run homerun was actually foul.  So, those of you who are following along that means that the Phightins were actually shutout in my book.

The offense was able to accrue 8 hits last night, but it does not help when all of those hits were spread out over 9 innings.  In addition to the offense failure to make it happen was Ryan Howard’s ground ball that went between his legs.  Let’s put this in perspective . . . . .  If you were to fail this much at your normal everyday job you would probably be fired, but he still is able to keep his job and make 10 million a year.  Would someone please tell Ryan Howard that defense is also part of his job description and Philly does not except a doctor’s note to sit out on the defense.  Oh, thank you Geoff Jenkins for your web gem catch !!

Tonight Krazy “K” takes the mound with his mighty sinker ball trying to get his double digit win bringing him to 10 for the season.  Kendrick (4.59 ERA) will face off against Anibal “Anakin” Sanchez (3.18 ERA) trying to bring down the death star known as the Marlins.  Kendrick – Please do not embarass us !!

 

Philadelphia AB R H RBI BB SO LOB AVG
Rollins, SS 4 1 2 0 1 0 1 .266
Victorino, CF 5 1 2 2 0 0 3 .288
Utley, 2B 3 0 1 0 0 0 2 .292
Howard, 1B 4 0 1 0 0 1 3 .242
Burrell, LF 3 0 1 0 1 2 1 .278
Jenkins, RF 1 0 0 0 2 1 1 .244
  d-Werth, PH-RF 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 .265
Bruntlett, 3B 2 0 0 0 0 0 3 .224
  b-Dobbs, PH-3B 2 0 0 0 0 1 2 .301
Ruiz, C 3 0 1 0 1 1 2 .216
Moyer, P 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 .114
  a-Cervenak, M, PH 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  Condrey, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  Walrond, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  Madson, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  c-Taguchi, PH 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .224
  Happ, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  e-Coste, PH 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .277
Totals 32 2 8 2 5 7 22  
 
image from phillies.com