Philadelphia Phillies – Dodging The Ball

The Philadelphia Phillies are playing for a sweep tonight against the Los Angeles Dodgers.  This follows an earlier sweep of the Phillies administered by the Dodgers in the middle of August.  The Phils are currently sitting 1/2 game out of 1st behind the New York Mets.  So, with tonight’s finalization of the sweep we would have the potential to take control back of the N.L. East.

Brett Myers (4.17 ERA) is taking the mound against Chad Billingsley (3.10 ERA) in search of his 7th win.


Philadelphia Phillies – Road To The Unknown

Tonight the Phillies are going into the 3rd game of a 3 game series against the Washington Nationals in which they will intend for a sweep.  More importantly than the Nats are the uncoming series against some of the Phightins toughest competitors.  The Phils start off with another 4 game series against the Dodgers, but this time it is at home on our turf at Citizen Bank Park.  Next we have a 2 game series with the Mets at home and then we go on the road to Chicago.  In Chicago we face off against the Cubs in Wrigley Field which is one of the toughest divisions this year.  However, if we can remain close to the Mets for the remainder of August we have a chance at taking over 1st place in September.  The Phillies have an extremely weak schedule in September except for a series with the Mets and Brewers.  The remainder  of the month consists of mostly the Marlins, Nationals, and Braves.

The Pitching match-up tonight is Jamie “the ace” Moyer against Tim Redding.  Redding a pitcher whom is usually lethal against the Phillies line-up was waxed last time against the Phightins in DC.  Redding allowed 7 runs in just 4 innings against the Phillies on July 30th.

On a side note catcher David Ross will not be joining the Phillies for the division run.  He has decided to accept an offer from Boston.  Pat Gillick remains optimistic that they will be able to acquire another bat.  He had said it would more likely be a bench player as opposed to a position player.  Gillick said that they feel comfortable with Jayson Werth in right field.  In addition, I would expect to see Lou Marson in the wing when they are allowed expand on their roster.

Philadelphia Phillies – Soul Searching

Jimmy Rollins finally confessed to the Padres last night that his lack of offense was due directly to the Philadelphia Phans negative demeanor.  Shortly after receiving that message the Padres proceeded to back hand Rollins until he began crying in the fetal position.  Post beating Rollins decided to show retribution by going 0-4 once again just to prove his point.

Kyle Kendrick has taken his turn stinking up the rotation after Myers and Eaton completed that task ealier this year.  Kendrick pitched 3 2/3 innings while allowing 6 runs on 6 hits and walking 5 batters.  This is Kendrick’s 2nd consecutive non quality start.  After the game it was heard that Kendrick will need a visit to see Rod Nichols at the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs soon.

The Phillies offense was slightly more than stagnent tonight while accruing 6 hits.  Shane Victorino was the only light at the end of a long, long tunnel going 2-4.

Tonight Cole”I can’t buy a win” Hamels will take the mound in search of his 10th win.  Hamels (3.32 ERA) will take the hill against Cha Seung Baek (5.20 ERA) on ESPN at 8pm eastern.


Philadelphia AB R H RBI BB SO LOB AVG
Rollins, SS 4 0 0 0 1 2 2 .266
Werth, RF 3 1 1 0 1 0 1 .264
Utley, 2B 4 1 1 0 0 1 1 .285
Howard, 1B 3 0 0 1 1 2 2 .233
Burrell, LF 2 0 0 0 2 1 2 .263
Victorino, CF 4 1 2 1 0 2 1 .285
Dobbs, 3B 4 0 1 1 0 2 2 .309
Coste, C 4 0 1 0 0 1 1 .270
Kendrick, P 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 .111
  Condrey, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  Eyre, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  a-Taguchi, PH 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 .212
  Walrond, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  b-Jenkins, PH 1 0 0 0 0 1 1 .241
Totals 32 3 6 3 5 13 14
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Philadelphia Phillies – Endorsing The Diaper Genie

The Phillies have officially shit their pants by being swept by the Dodgers on a 4 game series.  Out of everything I know about the Phillies the offense is the one thing that I could always say is a constant.  Well, that time has come and gone . . . .   It used to be the starting pitching and then it was the shabby defense.  Oh, yes let’s not forget the bullpen and the base running.  It has finally come to a head when you say it is the Phils offense that is losing games.  The next thing will be the bat boy is not pulling his own weight on the team.  Maybe we should trade our bat boy and get Matt Holliday who knows how to make contact with a ball.  On the upside of things the Phillies are going against the Padres and then the Nationals.  We maybe be able to win a couple of games against the two worst teams in the National League.

Philadelphia Phillies – Offensive Death

I could not bring myself to write about last night’s game.  So, I’ve taken this opportunity to channel my feelings into teaching others.  Below I have posted Merriam-Webster’s online version of the definition of offense in hopes that some of the members from the Phillies will read and learn.  I will just sit back the rest of the day and think about the rally towels from last year and Pat Gillick’s failure to re-sign Kyle Lohse and Aaron Rowand . . . . .  Oh, yeah and Jimmy Rollins whiner baby comments yesterday about the awesome Phillies Phans that he can no longer handle.  He just doesn’t like having to work for his millions!  Don’t worry Jimmy I feel the same way about you.  Maybe this is a wake-up call and a time for a change in the short stop position?


Main Entry:
or of·fence   \ə-ˈfen(t)s, especially for 3 ˈä-ˌfen(t)s, ˈ-\
Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Latin offensa, from feminine of offensus, past participle of offendere
14th century
1 aobsolete : an act of stumbling barchaic : a cause or occasion of sin : stumbling block2: something that outrages the moral or physical senses3 a: the act of attacking : assault b: the means or method of attacking or of attempting to score c: the offensive team or members of a team playing offensive positions d: scoring ability4 a: the act of displeasing or affronting b: the state of being insulted or morally outraged <takes offense at the slightest criticism>5 a: a breach of a moral or social code : sin, misdeed b: an infraction of law; especially : misdemeanor
of·fense·less  \-ləs\ adjective
synonyms offense, resentment, umbrage, pique, dudgeon, huff mean an emotional response to or an emotional state resulting from a slight or indignity. offense implies hurt displeasure <takes deep offense at racial slurs>. resentment suggests lasting indignation or ill will <harbored a lifelong resentment of his brother>. umbrage may suggest hurt pride, resentment, or suspicion of another’s motives <took umbrage at the offer of advice>. pique applies to a transient feeling of wounded vanity <in a pique I foolishly declined the invitation>. dudgeon suggests an angry fit of indignation <stormed out of the meeting in high dudgeon>. huff implies a peevish short-lived spell of anger usually at a petty cause <in a huff he slammed the door>.
synonyms offense, sin, vice, crime, scandal mean a transgression of law. offense applies to the infraction of any law, rule, or code <at that school no offense went unpunished>. sin implies an offense against moral or religious law <the sin of blasphemy>. vice applies to a habit or practice that degrades or corrupts <regarded gambling as a vice>. crime implies a serious offense punishable by the law of the state <the crime of murder>. scandal applies to an offense that outrages the public conscience <a career ruined by a sex scandal>.

Philadelphia Phillies: De-boning The Fish

Tonight the Philadelphia Phillies scaled the Marlins in a 5-0 shut out by hands of Kyle Kendrick.  Kendrick pitch 6 scoreless innings to gain his 10th win of the season while only allowing 4 hits, 5 BB and striking out 4 batsmen.  Chad Durbin came in in the 7th inning only allowing 1 hit over 2 innings with the game being finished off by Ryan Madson pitching another hitless and scoreless inning in the 9th.

The Phillies’ offense were able to accrue 9 hits and 5 walks including Ryan Howard’s 32nd homerun of the season tying him with Adam Dunn for MLB most HR’s of the year to date.  Mike Cervenak had his first major league hit tonight as well as his first RBI.  The Phils had 5 doubles hit tonight as well as Eric Bruntlett’s 9th stolen base of the year.

The Phightins will meet up at the bank tomorrow to close the door on the Marlins as Cole Hamels takes the mound in search of his 10th win.  Hamels (3.37 ERA) has struggled as of late, but intends to right the ship against the Fish’s Chris “farfignugen” Volstad (3.25 ERA).  The Phillies will then roll right into the series against the Bucs for the Pennsylvania Turnpike Series.


Philadelphia AB R H RBI BB SO LOB AVG
Rollins, SS 4 0 2 0 1 0 0 .269
Victorino, CF 4 1 0 0 1 1 5 .285
Utley, 2B 4 0 1 1 1 1 4 .292
Howard, 1B 5 1 2 1 0 1 4 .244
Burrell, LF 4 0 0 0 0 0 2 .275
  Werth, LF 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .265
Jenkins, RF 3 1 0 0 1 1 0 .241
Coste, C 3 1 1 0 0 0 2 .278
Bruntlett, 3B 3 1 2 1 1 0 0 .231
Kendrick, P 2 0 0 1 0 0 1 .119
  a-Cervenak, M, PH 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 .333
  Durbin, C, P 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 .143
  Madson, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
Totals 34 5 9 5 5 4 20
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Philadelphia Phillies – Overboard

Last night the Phillies were hanging over the side of the S.S. Citizen’s Bank creating their own chum wake.  The Florida Marlins knocked around Jamie Moyer trying to make up for the previous 10 losses and then proceeded to spank young J.A. Happ just to ensure he does not follow in the elder’s footsteps.  The pain staking 8-2 loss was only over shadowed by the fact that Victorino’s 2 run homerun was actually foul.  So, those of you who are following along that means that the Phightins were actually shutout in my book.

The offense was able to accrue 8 hits last night, but it does not help when all of those hits were spread out over 9 innings.  In addition to the offense failure to make it happen was Ryan Howard’s ground ball that went between his legs.  Let’s put this in perspective . . . . .  If you were to fail this much at your normal everyday job you would probably be fired, but he still is able to keep his job and make 10 million a year.  Would someone please tell Ryan Howard that defense is also part of his job description and Philly does not except a doctor’s note to sit out on the defense.  Oh, thank you Geoff Jenkins for your web gem catch !!

Tonight Krazy “K” takes the mound with his mighty sinker ball trying to get his double digit win bringing him to 10 for the season.  Kendrick (4.59 ERA) will face off against Anibal “Anakin” Sanchez (3.18 ERA) trying to bring down the death star known as the Marlins.  Kendrick – Please do not embarass us !!


Philadelphia AB R H RBI BB SO LOB AVG
Rollins, SS 4 1 2 0 1 0 1 .266
Victorino, CF 5 1 2 2 0 0 3 .288
Utley, 2B 3 0 1 0 0 0 2 .292
Howard, 1B 4 0 1 0 0 1 3 .242
Burrell, LF 3 0 1 0 1 2 1 .278
Jenkins, RF 1 0 0 0 2 1 1 .244
  d-Werth, PH-RF 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 .265
Bruntlett, 3B 2 0 0 0 0 0 3 .224
  b-Dobbs, PH-3B 2 0 0 0 0 1 2 .301
Ruiz, C 3 0 1 0 1 1 2 .216
Moyer, P 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 .114
  a-Cervenak, M, PH 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  Condrey, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  Walrond, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  Madson, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  c-Taguchi, PH 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .224
  Happ, P 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
  e-Coste, PH 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 .277
Totals 32 2 8 2 5 7 22  
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